The Worst Songs Ever Made

This is from a facebook note about the worst songs on planet earth:

August 31, 2010 at 12:23 p.m.

The Soundtrack Rejects

dick clark says music is the soundtrack to your life. everyone pretty much takes that as the good stuff but i say the even the almighty shitlist of bullshit has its memorable memories.

the following r some of the songs that when i hear them make me go i gotta get out of here before i vomit on this 2000 dollar laptop

drift away (yatta hay) – just gay if this is getting lost in your rock n roll rock is truly dead. last year in the land of the cheese wiz the grassroots played this song for their audience participation number. nothing like seeing a bunch of biker dudes with their arms in the air swaying back and forth and singing i wanna get lost in your rock n roll and drift away. possibly the gayest thing i’ve ever witnessed

you cant go home – bon jovi has gotten progressively worse since i was in junior high and that was 20 some years ago. first time i heard this i went you cant go home??? fuck you bon bon country. and then when i was working at that car wash for a day cause i figured it would score points with dan the man in freezing march in the land of the cheese wiz i hear it yet again doing a slave labor job and thinking maybe he’s saying you can go home o.k. im with ya then he sings been all around the world and if that didnt sink in the first time doing slave labor to score some cool points that lasted 5 minutes he adds ‘and thats a matter of FACT’ like a rolling stone. i said FUCK YOU BON BON COUNTRY once again

dont wanna miss a thing – same with aerosmith of course there is a country version thats even worser. armageddon the biggest money maker of 1998 was the first movie i ever saw in a theater that had so much action in it it bored me senseless. then what the hell did i do when it came out on criterion dvd directors edition. i bought it. that michael bay sure does know how to do dvd’s. i also bought his 4 disc edition of pear harbor which is by far the worst movie ever made. its not good even in a showgirls type of capacity

janies got a gun – the summer of 89 sticks out because of this video. mtv must have played this every half hour along with every radio station in the country. and they still do

i remember you – when this came out mtv had a special march madness video call in thing. u called in and choose which vid was the best. it came down to this one and paula abdules scatman animation video. on the day of the finals these r the only 2 videos they showed. sebastian even said when they were playing this every 5 minutes he was sick of it

every picture paints a story glazed donut – a song i came across listening to step daddies record collection. i never cared for rod stewart and this is the best example

little pink houses – john cougar melonhead actually started getting booed doing this song in the midwest during the 04 election lol

honkey tonk woman – yuck too much cowbell. i would not be surprised if there is a law in cali that sais if your a band and all u do is covers that 75% of your set has to be disco music, you have to play honkey tonk woman, and you have to end your set with either i love rock n roll or sweet child o mine

when the children cry – seriously also takes me back to 89. my sister had this and it was at the time she was also funding one of those poor children in the third world and trying to save my soul. if i have to be depressed all the time and think this is music my soul is indeed in peril

wham – jitterbug????? the beginning of gay rock not much of a surprise when years later george michaels, ricky martin. and lance bass came out of the closet

hey now your a rock star get your game on go play your an all star – gay rock in the mililtary. one of the three top favorite genres for the military duufus along with the dixie chicks when they were just hot. i do love the dixie chicks now but that was way after ready to run from the runaway bride just terrible. also hey now your a cock star was the song used in the opening credits of shrek 2. i loved the first movie. they used bad reputation in it 🙂 when i rented the second one and heard that song i turned it off. to this day i’ve never seen shrek 2

dont call me daughter im not your fadda i dont need u to remind me – the one time i gave pearl jam a fair listen and then they shit on me with this crap along with EEEEEVERFLOW is that some sort of tampon? and of course the nauseating cant find a butterman

sugarland stay? that video where the girl cries. right up there with when the children cry. this was on the country top 20 for like 2 years and my mother couldnt even handle it. she’s gonna cry wait for it wait for it THERE IT IS. thats my momma

hard to handle – the radio and every playlist in west covina has this one on repeat. here i am IM A MAN on a your scene??? HEY BABY. hard to handle a kissa a nah sha na na OH BABY blah

i will always love you – headache extra ordinary. dream girls would take this to another level. whitney was so popular in the early nineties hbo even did a special concert and their hook for gettin you to watch was to play this song and say something like witness the one night only where whitney holds that note forever…

mr. jones – the counting crows can suck it. in 1994 104.9 in rockford played this while i waited and waited and waited for them to play a request they never played till i called up yet again and cursed out the d.j. poor claudia wolf

pretty little love song – im getting a ride from work and the radio started playing this. 10 minutes later i arrive back at my little room and its still going u cant go wrong with a pretty little love song

squeeze box – mommas gotta squeeze box every one likes it short and nice??? its goes in and out and in and out and in and out. . . ummmm just gross. it sais a lot when a band can do this song and its awesome and thats what tenacious d managed at vh1 rock honors show. never thought that was possible

all summer long – kid country. this summer this song has managed to find its way onto a lot of set lists by bands who really love their disco music

boogie woogie noogie upside my head – another disco number that makes me ? whether or not im really just back in the land of the cheese wiz

more than words – cant believe after the glorious play with me extreme does this WTF????

every rose has its thorn/something to believe in – both songs r of equal terribleness by the man who cannot get a girlfriend. first time i heard something to believe in was on a special headbangers ball at donnington and mr i cant get a girlfriend whips out his accustic and belts this one out. WTF??? is headbangin about that???

kiss by prince. ive been hearing a mexicali version of this song lately and its kinda o.k. the prince version is like having to see ryan scott try to mack on his girl everyday before gym class

takin it to the streets – my sister is a huge 700 club wathcher. that and mr. rogers. back in the last half of the eighties ‘the club’ did a segment called of all things ‘takin it to the streets’ featuring this song. one of the cheesiest things ever. they spent so much time preaching to me im listening to devil music and they’re playing a song by a band whos name insists we all go smoke some doobies in a van down by the river??? i remember this song comin on, me wanting to vomit while they talked about this homeless artist. besuretodrinkyourovaltine. vote for pat robertson in 88

hillbilly bone – blake shelton and his gay partner can suck it. that is all that needs to be said about that one

wherewolves of london – bob segar???? a song i never heard that much of till i landed in cali. wow is that one terrible

wonderful tonight – has clapton ever rocked as solo dude??? i mean you have your cream and sunshine of your love and derek and the dominoes. eddie van halen even said the was the best concert he ever did see. but wonderful tonight??? tears in heaven??? propaine err cocaine???? i shot the sheriff??? ummm no. with wondeful tonight first time i heard it i thought what monstrosity of a video could this produce and i got my answer during the 92 olympics. i was really big on the girls gymnastics and had watched it pretty closely for a couple of years. so eagerly anticipated the olympics and when good ol kim zemeskil was just about ready they played a montage of the team with this freakin’ song???? and of course showing the zemeskil putting on her makeup. and didnt think she looked all that wonderful and it the whole video probably cursed her as she did not come close to getting a gold medal

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