Art Holmes meets Kevin Smith

On June 11th, 2013 I crossed off a major item on my bucket list. Well, actually it’s not one of those things that through the years builds and builds with regret but it’s so far out in left field that you lack the creativity to come up with it in the first place and it resides somewhere in the shitty pipe dream realm of your brain.

For instance, the Tony Scott tribute I have written about previously. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would experience that. But I did and so it is. But with this I actually got to sit down with thee Kevin Smith and get one on one time with him and for it to be recorded forever and ever, ever. Or however Jack sais that in ‘The Shining’ ???

So now onto Kevin Smith. I first heard of Kevin Smith back in the mid nineties when I discovered ‘Clerks’ quite by accident. At that time I was renting 2 to 3 movies a night so it was an eventuality that I would find it and I really loved it and it was a movie I was not expecting and it was so parallel to my own life at that time. And then I went to the theater eagerly anticipating ‘Mallrats’ and I remember coming out of that mall theater on a Saturday feeling entertained but yet disappointed that it didn’t say more or have more meaning to me.

So I figured well the guy had a one off so I never paid attention to Chasing Amy and then I went into the Military and private Goldenfinger or Goldenschlager??? something like that was a really big fan so I actually bought the collectors edition around 2000 when I was really getting into DVDees and what I took from it was I absolutely hated Ben Affleck as an actor. I also remember Kevin Smith being profiled on CNN and how he is navigating the mine field of Hollywood and just thinking this dude is just not gonna make it and good luck with that and your crazy to think you can go to the Land with the big fancy Sign and make a go of it.

Around this time ‘Dogma’ came out and I was going to the movie theater almost every weekend and I would digest about 10 movies from Friday night to Sunday Night. I pretty much saw every movie that came out between 1998 and 2000 in the theater. And again I remember feeling entertained by ‘Dogma’ but I felt it had a very adolescent gross out type of humor and I was really more into dramas and serious art house movies at that time. I still am but I’ve really progressed into going into a movie theater with a certain headspace as to the movie your going to. Especially now that I can actually watch a movie with a real audience.

And then Mr. Smith did RED STATE and it blew my freakin’ mind. Because again it was not what I was expecting. Just like that first time I saw ‘Clerks’. What I got with RED STATE was something I would have expected from Rob Zombie. It reminded me of Texas Chainsaw Massacre but with that insane crazy religious element, which again, was something I totally related to having tried on the mormon suit the last four years I lived in the cheese wiz.

I still remember specifically a nightmare I had about ‘the true church’ when I first joined and it took place where I was sitting in church and then everyone but me got possessed by demons. I also had a dream about the church that really knocked me for a loop. It was where the missionaries came over to do a lesson, and the 1 missionary who was really attractive and educated was talking and I asked ‘can I kiss you?’ and she very properly said as only mormons can say ‘absolutely not’ but me knowing that this was in fact a dream decided to go in for the kiss anywayz and then just as I’m going in for it I’m woken up by thee loudest clash of thunder I have ever heard in my life. Anywayz, if I had ever in my life had a god will strike you down by lightning moment that was it.

So fast forward to 2012 and Smith and Mewes are going to be doing an A and Que in the main theater, at mount super fabulous, and it was really difficult to get into and then I was able to get into and the main theater was half full if that. And this theater seats about three hundred and fifty people. And Mewes was Jay on the spot with the microphone going through the audience. It was so

much fun to be a part of that and remembering my experiences those first three years out of high school and the first time I discovered ‘Clerks’ and telling my buddies, HAY!!! you gottah see this. I also couldn’t believe how not silent Silent Bob is.

Fast forward again to the first week of April 2013 and thee Kevin Smith will be doing podcasts for the entire semester with, mount super fabulous, of which I got an invite for and 30 minutes later, after it was sent down, I saw it in my inbox, sent the RSVPee, and it was already too late. He needed 20 students to do 4 podcasts with a panel of 5 which are the first four episodes on the Friday Film School link below.

Onto June 2013 and now for whatever reason Mount Super Fabulous on their FB page are giving out seats via a trivia question. First one to answer correctly kind of thing and these were super simple trivia question like what is the movie Kevin Smith shot in black and white?? Are you freakin kidding me??? The students who got to do this in April were specifically sent emails because of their awesomeness factor and now ‘they’ are just giving them away???? And again I was too late like three times. And then I had emailed the booker to these just to put my name on a possible future list if Mr. Smith would be doing more in the future and amazingly there was an open slot.

Unfortunately it was right in the middle of class time but I made a bucket list decision that I would forgoe the perfekt attendance award and do this. Also, I really wished I had been on the panel after mine cause I would have loved to have had that experience with the people who will be on Episode numero VII.

 Also, the most surprising thing that I got out of Mr. Smith being here for the podcasts was the last one he did two days later in the main theater. About half way through it I really started to feel like a peer instead of a fan and that the next time I meet him (which is a pretty high probability that I will at my internship sometime down the road cause Mewes just did a promo for comic con on the pot last week which I missed cause I am so lazer focused on skool) I will have had this experience with him.

When the podcast was over he came up to me and told me ‘great fucking job’ and was very sincere about it and not in that fake land of the big fancy sign way where it just feels like a hollow empty comment. And again you can hear that sincerity right before I ask him about the African Child paradox.

So, here is the link to Episode number 5 in all its unedited uncensored glory and my own edited ego version. Unfortunately as of yet no pictures that were taken by the school photographer seem to exist??? And for some reason the techie dufus never turned on my mic for the first 10 minutes of this so I clip gained the little things that I added into the conversation in my glorious Pro Tools 10. I just love that clip gain. It’s like the best invention ever.

Also, I’ve never been a fan of the sound of my voice (that goes for the movie as well) but listening to this, I don’t know if i’ve ever been more impressed with myself. 

And yes Ralph, I used to be 35.

My ego edited version

Full uncut version

The African Child Paradox:


One of my favorite trailers of all times

The original ending to Clerks which is very RED STATE 
in its essence and also it 
reminds me of the first season of 24 
going in this direction 
with their season finale

The scene from RED STATE that blew my freakin’ mind
and never expected thee Kevin Smith actually had it in him to do

Making of RED STATE

Jason Mewes on the pot at my internship last week, and now I know where all the handsoap went cause it was a lot lower on Wednesday

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2 Responses to Art Holmes meets Kevin Smith

  1. Charisse says:

    This is great Art. Love your musings. Keep them coming.

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